Why are YOU homeschooling?

As promised, some answers in varying degrees of politeness.

1. I know I would drive a teacher crazy asking about tests, reviews, when things are due, how my child is doing, what we can work on at home to help, so I just decided to skip the middleman.

2. To minimize their exposure to the likes of YOU.

3. I'm too lazy to get my child(ren) out the door by what time, 8:15? every morning.

4. To allow my child to progress at his or her own pace. For example, my child is a grade ahead in [insert subject here]...

5. We never have snow days.

6. We're in the "gray area" for Detroit Country Day--my spouse makes too much to qualify for financial aid, but not enough to afford it without.

7. We couldn't afford Catholic school.

8. I think my child should learn in a real life situation instead of in an artificial construct like school.

Suggestions?