On today

I'm still feeling the pain meds so this may be a little disjointed.

I was scared today. I've never been a patient in the hospital for anything except giving birth, so this whole "surgery" idea was a mystery. I'm posting this so that if someday, someone is going through something similar and happens to find some degree of reassurance, it will have accomplished its purpose.
We got there at the appointment time. I registered with my driver's license and insurance card, then went to the appropriate floor. I was led back to my own waiting room where I changed into a hospital gown, shower cap, and paper slippers--everything else was taken off. I put my own clothes in the plastic bag for such. Dale was brought back to keep me company.
My blood pressure and temperature were taken and The Questions were asked the first time: any allergies, medications, medical conditions; why are you here today. All of my jewelry had to come off, even engagement and wedding rings. THOSE were a treat, let me tell you.
I was asked about pain at the moment. No pain, but when I mentioned I was bleeding, I was offered the Maternity Fishnets and accessories or chux pads beneath. The latter seemed more appropriate. They also put an IV in my hand.
The anesthesiologist came in and asked The Questions again. When asked about a hit of Versed before, I wavered. Dale admitted it would make it easier on him, so I accepted. Since I'm overall healthy, I had some options for the procedure itself. I chose general--I wanted to be out.
We spent a lot of time waiting. Doc's c-section was taking longer than anticipated. The residents came in, asked The Questions a third time, and answered our questions--how long does the procedure take, when can we try to conceive again, etc. When told why we were there, they expressed a little concern. "There's been no fetal pull for three weeks," I reassured them.
"You've been dealing with this for three weeks? And you had to wait until now?" Sympathetic.
"We kept hoping for something to change."
Finally we were told that Doc was on her way. Did I want to see her before the second dose of Versed? I did, so they waited until I was in the operating room. She came up to me holding a mask over her face. I recognized her voice and eyes. I told her it was nice to see a familiar face--all of them had been friendly, but hers was the first familiar.
I crabwalked from the gurney to the surgical table, they joked a bit about the bleeding ("Blood in the operating room? That's a surprise!"), adjusted to where they told me, and faded to sleep.

I woke up in recovery. I didn't stay long before they wheeled me to my own room where Dale could join me. I got two capsules of Percocet and two cranberry juice boxes. I was still wobbly but not queasy, so they took out my IV, let me get dressed, and wheeled me out.

Balance is still off and I can't focus visually on much, but emotionally right now I feel okay. God took Edmund (the name we've chosen) a while back, so nobody died today. My thoughts keep looping with a sense of relief. "It's over. It's over. We can move forward now."

Thank you all for your prayers.