Domestic Bliss Report

Motherhood is hard work. If we don't stick together, we'll all fall apart.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I'm starting to feel left out.

Anyone else know what I mean?

And it can't be the water. The geographical diversity says so.

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15 Comments:

At 6:13 AM, Blogger Zach said...

I thought you said you wanted a pony.

 
At 6:28 AM, Blogger Kasia said...

And they're not the only ones...Jennie C's #7 is due in January, Paul the Regular Guy's wife is due soon...someone else just found out that they were expecting too, but I forget who.

I confess myself a bit jealous of all of them...but I promised Canuck we could try to hold off for the first year to get our financial ducks in a row...but I popped eight bows at the shower and I want to get cracking! ;-)

 
At 6:40 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Zach--
I don't really want a pony. I'd rather have... something else.:)

Kasia--
Nuts to that. Don't hold off until you can "afford" a baby. You can NEVER "afford" a baby. It doesn't happen. There will always be one more bill to pay off, one more savings goal to meet, one more thing to acquire.

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger Matthew Siekierski said...

Kasia, I agree with Heather. If you wait for financial perfection, you'll never have kids. Now, if finances are REALLY bad, I'd recommend waiting, but barring that...

Of course, holding off for the first year is probably not a terrible idea, simply because there's a lot of adjustments you two will have to go through just being married. But don't let money stop you.

Heather, you shouldn't be complaining to the web about such things, you should be seducing Dale.

 
At 4:35 PM, Blogger The Mom With Brownies said...

I'm calling a September 2009 due dat for the "Heather's future due date blog pool"! That's mine! I call it! Dibs!

I'll go to IKEA with you when you buy the loft beds. :o)

 
At 6:10 PM, Blogger Melanie B said...

Aw Heather, you have to let us catch up first. And even after this one, we've still got another to go before we're even. :)

Unless, of course, this is twins.

Kasia,

I'm in the get started right away camp. Getting pregnant on our honeymoon was great. Sure, I spent much of the first year of marriage exhausted or bent over the toilet puking my guts out, but I think it was good for us in that we didn't settled into any habits and patterns that just would have to be unlearned once we had kids. And what a great anniversary present!

But seriously, we had our financial ducks sitting pretty and then my husband lost his job barely two weeks after the baby was born. Somehow we managed to get through that. And although having the baby did make things a bit more stressful, she also was our great joy that kept us smiling and laughing together.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Kasia said...

Well, it's a combination of high debt load, a two-bedroom condo, and the fact that he won't be able to work in the U.S. for at least the first three months. And he did say it was as much wanting to adjust to married life as anything else.

But who knows...maybe I can talk him down to six or eight months...I've already talked him up in number of possible kids... ;-)

Heather, on the other hand - I did see cute loft and bunk beds at IKEA just last night... ;-)

 
At 8:14 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Kasia--We have a set of the IKEA bunk beds. We're planning on another set come Tax Refund 2010, as well.

Matt--I've promised not to seduce my way to another child. :)

Melanie--We had a head start since we've been married twice as long, I think (9 years this past October). You'll probably catch up by your 9th.

Shelly--We've said we'll wait until we're in a bigger house since two sets of bunk beds and the supplies for four children puts that bedroom at the limit. If you want to keep Sept. '09 as my future due date, that's okay, but do you know something about the real estate market I don't? SHARE! PLEASE!!

 
At 11:08 PM, Blogger The Mom With Brownies said...

I know nothing...except the bad and the ugly. *sob* So, I lose the blog pool I suppose. :o)

 
At 8:22 AM, Blogger Catherine said...

I feel it and it hurts. I'm thrilled for everyone, of course. My best friend was thrilled to tell me about the twins she was expecting when she already had triplets because she knew that I, at least, would be truly happy for her. It's not disapproval. It is so very hard not to fall into envy at the news when we were headed down that road before this deployment. I so want a large family, but deployments and health issues may well make that impossible.

I second, third, and fourth everyone else, Kasia. You do not know what God has in store, but every baby is truly born with a loaf of bread. He will provide for your needs. Not necessarily your wants, but your needs. Heather has four kids in a two bedroom one level house. My husband and I got started right away after a deployment, and now have a three bedroom house that we have space to turn into a five bedroom three bathroom spread. But we may never get to have the children to fill that house. How would you feel if you waited until you had a four-bedroom mansion with a yard (just an example, I'm not in your shoes) and then found that your time to expand your family had expired? Of course you would foster or adopt, two things we've discussed here. But there would be a pang telling you maybe you shouldn't have waited so long. I know. I feel it.

 
At 8:25 AM, Blogger Catherine said...

I just realized that I made it sound like I had not received any gifts from God. I have two wonderful daughters. I am thankful for them. I just feel called to have a large family, but I don't see the way clear for that to happen any time soon, and I have to acknowledge that God may decide that I'm through having biological children before I feel like I'm through. That will be my cross to bear, and right now my fight is against the temptation to despair and envy. I've always been so happy to hear about a new addition, and it's painful to have to deal with the mixed feelings I've had lately.

 
At 9:26 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Catherine--
While I don't know how you feel, I know what you mean. I'm 37 now, and Dale's 39. If Shelly were right, we'd be 38 and 40 by the time the child would be born. I do have that clock ticking in the back of my mind.

Maybe we'll talk time lines soon, with "regardless of real estate, by X year..."
Of course, we don't have the deployment issues you do. The longest we've been apart has been less than a week.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Kasia said...

but do you know something about the real estate market I don't?

All I know, apart from the obvious "it stinks, especially in Michigan" is that it has always come around in the past, and God willing, will again. :-)

Good points, all - and Catherine's point is especially well taken. We'll see how it goes...

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger Zach said...

Kasia,

Yes, real estate always goes up over the long term -- for a sufficiently long term.

Of course, after the Fall of Rome, that was a long long time for values to recover....

:)

peace,

 
At 6:57 PM, Blogger Melanie B said...

Actually you guys are at just about 3xs as long as us. We're just at 3 years this past August. But yeah by the time we're at 9 years, I'm pretty sure we'll be up to 4.

 

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