Domestic Bliss Report

Motherhood is hard work. If we don't stick together, we'll all fall apart.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I didn't mean to hit a nerve.

What I was talking about was the idea that, regardless of working outside the home or not, boarding school or homeschooling or anything in between, day or night, there are no "breaks" in motherhood. Those who go into it trying to plan for those, thinking they're really going to get away (or their kids are) and they won't worry like they used to before kids, are kidding themselves.

I did NOT mean it to turn into an anti-working-outside-the-home diatribe. I know our society has changed from 40 years ago and there are more financial reasons for moms to work. Some moms are the sole breadwinner, others are the primary, others make the difference on whether the utilities get paid or not. I know this.

I also know, though, that there are moms who are working who don't really need to. If they as adults and parents would set aside some of their own priorities and put their children's well-being first, recognizing that a parent at home is what the kids need more than fancy clothes, newer cars, another TV or video game, or enrichment lessons, they could find a way to have it.

Who falls into which category, I can't say. I can't say what anyone else can cut; I don't see anyone's financial records but ours.
And hey, it's not my judgement that should matter to you. I look in my own eyes when I tweeze the brows.



At 6:29 AM, Blogger Daisy said...

When it comes to any subject at all related to moms working, I have a feeling that there is nothing there to hit but nerve.

You're right though. I remember being hospitalized when Echo was about fifteen months. Thankfully, she had weaned herself at thirteen months. I was drugged most of the time, and apparently people were quite concerned about me making it. All anyone remembers me asking when I was with it was who had my daughter and was she all right. I had been told how serious my condition was, but it simply didn't register past the concern I had for my daughter. I think most moms are like that. When they get to be older, it's a great source of eye rolling. :)

At 6:42 AM, Anonymous Sarah L. said...

Agreed. Motherhood isn't something I am doing for awhile until we can get back to MY life. I fully expect to be engaged in my vocation as mother for as long as I live.

I look at my own parents and know that there is not a day that goes by when I (and my brother, husband and children) are not at the forefront of their thoughts and prayers. They are always thinking of ways to be helpful to us (e.g. last weekend my husband was remodeling our bathroom and my dad and his were working side by side with him). They'd drop whatever they are doing in a heartbeat if one of us is in trouble or needs them. That's the kind of parent I intend to be.

You can be that parent whether you work or not, whether your children are at home or not, whether they live near or far. It's about the attitude with which you approach your role as parent. Indeed, there is never a break.


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