Domestic Bliss Report

Motherhood is hard work. If we don't stick together, we'll all fall apart.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Winter blues

I'm having a hard time realizing that Christmas, the day and the season, are over. It rushed by so quickly it seemed a dream. I'm still feeling the urge to shop for and wrap gifts, to plan the menu, to bake and decorate cookies.
Where was I when this all happened the first time? You mean it's done already? It's almost Epiphany. Where did it go?
I can say that during the sugar cookie baking, I was taking a nap with Louie. During the decorating, I washed dishes. I was in the same room, but we can only accomodate one guest before we run out of chairs and we had two. One was foretold, the other... If you think I'm I'm going to turn down a surprise visit from my mother on Christmas Eve, you must think I'm beyond heartless.
Daddy even baked a second batch of monster cookies this past Monday, and they were gone yesterday.

I think it's exacerbated by Louie's growth. A year ago he was a tiny nursling, a "baby puddle." Now he's a walking, wrestling, opinionated, exploring toddler. He's getting too big for me to nurse when I have no arms in my seat, and my arms are exhausted from holding him. It's getting on time to wean. And it's breaking my heart.

I just want to hold on to his babyness, this Christmas season, a little longer but it's like trying to catch a handful of falling snow. We don't know when we'll have another; we say when we're in a bigger house, but with the real estate market, only God knows when that will be. If it's too long, we'll miss our chance--I'm turning 38 this year and Beloved Husband will be 40.

I'm just feeling the winter blues and time going by so quickly. Christmas is gone, Louie's babyhood is slipping away, and all I can do is watch it all go.

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5 Comments:

At 4:37 PM, Blogger The Mom With Brownies said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger The Mom With Brownies said...

What a beautiful post. I can't help but utter, distantly, gently...

It's never too late, though your future children may not grow under your heart, but in it. :o)

 
At 6:30 PM, Blogger Tu Agenda Musical said...

A Holy and Happy Feast of the Epiphany!
I invite you to listen a special episode of the podcast “Levántate y Sal a Caminar…” ( this week in an English version) dedicated to the Feast of the Epiphany of the Lord.
32 minutes of Christmas carols in many languages, something about Russian Christmas and more…
Jesus loves you and Mary too.
Luisa from Lima - Peru
You can listen to it in: http://levantateysalacaminar.podomatic.com
“God is shining forth in the most unwanted and unsuspected places…” St. Anthony Messenger

 
At 4:50 AM, Blogger cloakedbook said...

I totally get it, Paul turns 8 today, and Patrick is a kamakaze nurser...I just can't do it with people in the room (that haven't seen my ...before) and I have to take down Christmas today...what a horrid day, but Christ is King, and I will probably laugh a lot today...so there you go

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Louie seems to have taken some nursing tips from Patrick. None of the others were as... overt as Lou. The others would try to chew through my shirt; Lou lifts it.

 

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