I'm getting old.
It's a concession to our youth-enamored culture to admit that I've noticed and I don't like it. And I know others have it worse; I'm only 35. But I'm coming to grips with my own aging and mortality.
My mind goes to dark places when left alone at inopportune times.
I know that someday, I will leave my children. They, in turn, will leave theirs. I don't like this thought, but I've had it. I try to squelch it.
I've said I would "grow old gracefully," whatever that means. To me, it meant no surgery to raise what gravity had lowered and no covering my gray hair (none of which I have yet). Perhaps it's the natural redhead part of me; I know I'd never get the shade to look right. I've long had a vague contempt for fake reds. They look so obvious to me.
But this week, I noticed a horizontal crease on my forehead. It was old news but this time it stayed even when my expression relaxed. Birthdays have not fazed me, but this crease is gnawing at my mind.
My mind flickered to the cosmetics aisle where I've seen the various lotions, serums, treatments, and creams. Where to even begin? They're all so expensive; tests for effectiveness would break the budget.
Besides, there's the time factor. I barely have the time to brush my teeth twice a day. To spend upward of $30 for a face cream I don't use is beyond lunacy.
So it's an opportunity to prioritize. Do I want to fight an endless and futile battle against the dermatological signs of aging, taking time and money away from my children, chores, hobbies and husband? Or do I let it go, surrendering my vanity to the sands of time?
Sigh.
Maybe just one face cream. And hiding my husband's new reading glasses so he can't see the line as clearly.
4 Comments:
No grey hairs yet?? Would you like some of mine? They're very Christmasy - like tinsel! I happily dye them away but I can see what you mean about the red hair. As for forehead creases, I'm not sure moisturizer can fix that since it's more of a muscle-based issue. I've been noticing that I get wrinkles around my eyes in the winter, though, and that's something I can fight with moisturizer.
My mom used to fret about a crease between her eyebrows, and when she watched TV she would press her finger against the spot like she could push it smooth again.
I'm with ya on the hair dying. I have reddish-blondish-brownish hair (no one has ever been able to describe the color effectively, usually settling unsatisfactory on "strawberry"). I figure if no one can decide what color it is, it won't be coming out of a bottle correctly. Unfortunately, I found my first gray hair when I was a freshman in high school. But I don't have any obvious areas, just strands, so there's that.
Aging does stink. I'm lucky not to have any obvious wrinkles yet, but I'm only 30. Also, I"m sure my kids will fix that soon enough.
Excellent subject
Brian and I were just discussing this issue. He was telling his co-workers that he's about to hit middle age. He's now 35. His co-workers laughed because many of them are over 40 and "aren't middle aged yet." Brian asked them if they plan to live to be one hundred. It wasn't as funny then.
:-)
As for gray hair. When I get them I'll dye them. I'm 36 and holding strong. I love my hair color but I've seen many of my mother's 9 sister's and am not going the route of little miss white head. The ones who did that looked old quite quick and were treated as such. No Thanks For Me. I'll follow my Spunky and strong aunt Nellie. The oldest of the bunch. She is pushing 80 with hair as black as night...NOT BLUE! :-)
Ha! At least you women get to keep your hair ...
Heather, don't worry. You're a mom, you've earned the wrinkle. Dale (and anyone else with an ounce of discernment) will still know you're beautiful.
peace,
Post a Comment
<< Home