Continuum of motherhood

None of my kids have ever had formula. They nursed until they were old enough for whole milk, then they went to sippy cups. We're still on that trajectory, and as I went to my very first La Leche League meeting this morning, I see it continuing.

When Lou was born, the lactation consultant happened to be in the room when I said none of my kids have ever had formula. "What would you tell a new mother?" she asked. "What wisdom after three would you give?"

I've had four months to mull it. Here it is.

It's a commitment, but it's on a continuum. The baby is still completely dependent on you just like he was before birth. Women give up their own medications, quit smoking, quit drinking, et cetera when they have a bun in the oven. A mom to be can't just trot out for a night of drinking and dancing, regardless of how cute maternity clothes are nowadays. The baby goes with you to that smoky, loud bar. You can't take the baby "off" to do it, either. That baby is always with you. What you eat, the baby eats.

Breastfeeding is just a continuation of that, except now you have diapers to prove it. It's just a continuation of their dependence on you, you nourishing them.

You see, I've realized that you never stop being a mother. You never stop worrying that they're getting enough rest, or spending time with the right people. Are they getting enough attention, enough love? Are they eating enough of the right things and not too much of the wrong?
I believe in my heart that my mother still worries about that for her own and we're all north of 35. I know I still need her. Yesterday, for example, at our niece's birthday party, she served as a sentient port-a-crib for Lou while Daddy and I searched at various times for various other children.

Breastfeeding is just the next phase after pregnancy; it's not in addition to. You make the commitment before they're born to see to their welfare. It doesn't end at their birth, school age, or voting age. It plain doesn't end.