Domestic Bliss Report

Motherhood is hard work. If we don't stick together, we'll all fall apart.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Unable to concentrate

On much besides tedium (washing dishes, folding socks) right now, so I'll share some Christina stories.

She had a rich and varied employment history. None I would personally call a "career," but they were generally interesting and off the beaten track.
She worked for a while in an optometrist's office. Chris referred to it as Mr. Magoo's Home of Myopia. While not terribly fond of the work (as a receptionist?), she did get her eye care for a substantial discount. So she got contacts to turn her normally greenish-hazel eyes a vivid emerald. When asked by a clerk at a gas station, "Are your eyes real?" Chris had little patience for dumb questions, so she simply responded, "One of them is."

Another job she had was a dog-walker. If you went on vacation or worked long hours, she was one you could hire to come check on your pets, feed them, pet them, et cetera. Well, one day she was walking a client's Samoyed around a rather posh neighborhood. Nature called the animal, and Chris did her doody duty. One of the residents saw her and asked, "What are you going to do with that?"
Again Chris' wit flared. She brought herself up to her full five-foot-four, and with as much derision as she could muster, answered, "Some Satanic rituals require the offal of a white dog." She said she could smell the smoke from the brain gears locking up as she strode off, head held high.

Yeah, I'm going to miss her.


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